No Big Deal

From Athlete to Advocate: A Memoir of Childhood Betrayal and a Journey to Justice.

For fifteen years, these words kept Torey Ivanic from telling her parents, friends, and boyfriends about her interactions with the gymnastics coach who utterly confused her young mind, body, and soul- who had, she eventually came to understand, sexually violated her.

In this memoir, Torey transparently and brilliantly shows how the abuse started, the collateral damage it created in her young life, her realization that it was a big deal, and her journey of healing and justice. After helping to put her perpetrator in prison for 43 years, she created a new life full of real love and joy and became an advocate for sexual abuse prevention.

Most importantly, Torey has lit the path for other victims and their loved ones to:

  • Understand Exactly How Grooming Happens
  • Realize It Was and Is a Big Deal, and Not Their Fault
  • Identify and Address Collateral Physical and Emotional Fallout
  • Find Open Spaces for Healing
  • Become an Advocate for Justice and Prevention

Whether you have been telling yourself that it was no big deal, or you know it was a big deal and need to know it's possible to move forward- and especially if you have young children and don't know how to protect them- this is the book for you.


It IS a big deal.

And there IS something we can do about it.

Read An Excerpt from No Big Deal

May 2006

As I sat at my desk and finished typing the note on my last patient, I could feel the tears welling up again. My left ring finger was empty, and so was my heart. I couldn’t believe my tear ducts had anything left but I couldn’t hold it back. Here they came again.

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get this right? And if it DOES have anything to do with Greg, I wonder if Samantha is dealing with the same relationshit? Maybe she’s over it?

I opened my email and started a new message...

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Praise for No Big Deal

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Feather Berkower, LCSW

Founder of Parenting Safe Children, Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Educator & Author

No Big Deal brings you intimately inside the day-to-day world of a child navigating family life, peers, and eventually entering adolescence while being groomed and seduced by her trusted gymnastics coach. Torey illustrates clearly how so many adults make mistakes and miss the signs of a child being sexually violated because they don’t know what to look for. This memoir holds promise for parents and professionals alike to protect children in the future.

Natasha Frenchko

Natasha (Frenchko) Natale,

Former Sex Crimes Prosecutor

This book is a powerful reminder that we must remain vigilant in protecting children against these master manipulators and not allow an opening for the predators to gain access to any child.

Ursula Mentjes Complete PR Photo Session-1619

Ursula Mentjes

Award-winning author of The Belief Zone

Sharing your truth is never easy, especially when you know the impact it could have on the people you care about. And yet, when you know that telling your story is critical to your own healing and the healing of millions of others, you take that risk. Which is exactly what Torey Ivanic did when she told hers. 


Rachel Shanken, LMHC

Founder MindBodyWise

Torey brings us a raw and moving account of her life and the sexual abuse that changed everything. We journey alongside her as she transforms from an innocent, unsuspecting young adult to a young woman devastated by the betrayal of someone she deeply trusted. She insightfully shares the impact of this trauma on her adult relationships, until she is able to face her truth and her aggressor head-on. This is a story of vulnerability, courage, healing and redemption.

About the Author

Holistic health practitioner and change-agent Torey Ivanic is on a mission to stop sexual abuse.


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